Whenever an older female celebrity dates a younger guy, it tends to make the news. These women, often referred to as "cougars" or "MILFS," have long had their relationships subject to scrutiny and stigma. However, the narrative around them has shifted, and nowadays, they’re frequently celebrated in the media. Case in point: the recent arrival of the popular reality series MILF Manor, a show in which a group of middle-aged moms date each other’s sons. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into why so many older women are into younger guys, what their relationships are like, and do a little analysis of MILF Manor. My guest today is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She hosts a podcast called What's Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include:

• How common are age-gap relationships?
• Why might an older heterosexual woman want to date a significantly younger guy?
• Is MILF Manor a sign of progress, or is it feeding stereotypes around women and aging?
• We also explore the dynamics between moms and their sons on the show, the unrealistic beauty standards older women are held to, and why a show that was designed to facilitate sexual and romantic connections struggled to produce matches.

You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the city of Berlin, Germany? There’s a good chance that you pictured a kinky nightclub. It’s estimated that as many as 1 in 3 visitors to Berlin goes specifically for these clubs. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how Berlin became a hub for kinky nightlife and discuss what it’s actually like inside two of Berlin’s most famous spots, the KitKat Club and Berghain. We’ll also take a look at how consent works in a sex club and give you some pro-tips on getting into Berlin's clubs because they’re known as being notoriously difficult to enter. I am joined once again by Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour "Berlin’s History of Sex" in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on "The Story of Berlin’s Clubs" and "Berlin’s Queer & Trans History." Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• What role did the Berlin wall play in leading the city to become a nightlife hotspot?
• What could someone expect to see or experience if they visited KitKat or Berghain?
• What is a dark room, and why are they so common in Berlin and across Europe?
• How does consent work in sex club and group sex environments?
• How do Berlin's clubs deal with privacy when everyone has a smartphone?

To learn more, check out Jeff's Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2336-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Earlier this year, I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Berlin. As part of that trip, we took a three-hour guided tour on Berlin's sexual history, and it was fascinating! I wanted to share what we learned with you, so I invited our wonderful tour guide onto the show to give us the highlight reel. In this episode, we're going to chat about the roots of Berlin’s sexual liberation, which trace back more than a century. We’ll also discuss the history of sex research and therapy in Germany, which is equally fascinating. My guest is Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour "Berlin’s History of Sex" in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on "The Story of Berlin’s Clubs" and "Berlin’s Queer & Trans History." Some of the topics we explore include:

• How can Berlin's modern reputation for sex-positivity be traced back to the Roaring 20s?
• Who was Magnus Hirshfeld, and why is he a pivotal figure in the history of sex?
• How did the Nazis' rise to power alter the sexual landscape in Germany?
• How did the post-WWII era shift towards sex-positivity in Berlin?
• Are attitudes towards sex in Berlin becoming more conservative today?

To learn more, check out Jeff's Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

We live in an era where the preferred treatment for most health issues, including sexual problems, is increasingly a pill. However, this medicalized approach frequently overlooks the root cause. At their core, sex problems often stem from feelings of shame or guilt, inadequate sex ed, and mistaken ideas about what's "normal" with regard to sex and the human body. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the problem with overmedicalizing sex problems, as well as the tricky business of defining what constitutes a sexual “disorder” in the first place. I am joined once again by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• What do we mean when we say the "medicalization of sex?"
• How can searching for a biomedical cure to all sexual difficulties be problematic?
• How has the conceptualization of sexual disorders changed over time?
• Is it even possible to create objective definitions of sexual disorders?
• How common are sexual difficulties, really?

To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2335-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Condoms are one of the best tools we have available for protecting our sexual health. However, modern condoms leave something to be desired. It is so easy to point to problems with condoms that make them difficult to use, that increase the odds of making mistakes, and that reduce sexual pleasure. Better education around condoms could reduce some of these problems, but we also need to start building better condoms! So in today’s show, we’re going to talk all about condoms, including why it seems harder than ever to get people to use them and how to best promote correct and consistent usage. My guest is Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• Why is it harder to get people to use condoms today than it was a few decades ago?
• What are the most common condom mistakes/errors people make?
• How can we make condom use more pleasurable?
• Why does it seem so hard to build better condoms?
• Which interventions are most effective at promoting correct and consistent condom use?

To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

There is undoubtedly a dark side to dick pics, such as when they’re sent without consent or used as a form of harassment. However, when shared consensually, there's a positive side worth acknowledging. This is the second part in a 2-part series on the psychology of dick pics. In the last episode, we talked all about the dominant (and negative) narratives we hear in the popular media about these photos. So, today, we're going to talk about the rarely discussed positive side of consensual dick pics, as well as what makes for a good dick pic in the first place (hint: put a little effort into it!). I am joined once again by Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• What does it mean to think about dick pics reparatively?
• How can dick pics be an avenue to intimacy?
• What do women say are the qualities of a good dick pic?
• How can dick pics help men construct a positive sense of self?
• If you're thinking about sending a dick pic to someone, what do you need to know?

To learn more, check out Andrea's website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here. Thank you to our sponsors! Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2334-lehmiller Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written on the Sex and Psychology blog was about why so many men send unsolicited dick pics to women. At the time, there wasn’t much research on the subject, but the data suggested that guys who do this are either clueless or narcissistic (or worse). This has fed a growing (and extreme) online narrative that all dick pics are bad, even when they’re sent consensually. So let's take a closer look at the dick pic. I have a two-part series for you about the science of dick picks. In this show, we’re going to focus on the cultural history of the dick pic and the four most common narratives we hear about dick pics in the media. Next time, we’re going to talk about a new way of thinking about dick pics, as well as their positive side when shared consensually. My guest is Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic. Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• Why write a whole book all about dick pics?
• How do you secure government funding for research when you're doing the "dirty work" of studying sex?
• How has the cultural history of the penis shaped modern attitudes towards it?
• What are the four themes about why men send dick pics that dominate academic work and public discourse?
• Are dick pics always a form of harassment? Are men who send dick pics narcissists?

To learn more, check out Andrea's website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

There is an "awakening of self" that happens when people practice non-monogamy. This awakening has the potential to be exciting and exhilarating, but also frightening and destabilizing because you and your partner(s) may change in ways that you never anticipated. In today's show, we’re going to explore a helpful model for understanding where each partner is during a relationship transition. This framework can serve as a useful practical guide when it comes to navigating the challenges that occur in the process of opening up or when exploring a new form of non-monogamy. I am joined once again by Jessica Fern and David Cooley, the co-authors of the new book, Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is also author of the book Polysecure, which we spoke about previously on the show. David is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, who created the Restorative Relationship Conversations Model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. Some of the specific questions we discuss in this episode include:

• What does an "awakening of self" look like? How can opening up a relationship change you?
• What are the 5 different stages in the process of self-awakening?
• Why do partners sometimes move in different directions during a self-awakening?
• In what ways is self-awakening a positive experience? In what ways is it painful?

To learn more, you can visit Jessica and David's websites, and preorder Polywise here. Thank you to our sponsors! Thinking about opening your relationship? Get help from Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex and relationship education directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2333-lehmiller ***

We tend to be attracted to partners who are similar to us—and that makes sense. But no matter how similar you and your partner are, there are always going to be some areas where you differ. And while those differences have the potential to help a relationship thrive, they can also drive you apart. So let's talk about navigating differences in relationships. In this episode, we’re going to focus on dealing with differences when you’re in a consensually non-monogamous relationship, but a lot of the information is applicable no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. My guests today are Jessica Fern and David Cooley, the co-authors of the new book, Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. Jessica is a Psychotherapist, Coach, and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. She is also author of the book Polysecure, which we spoke about previously on the show. David is a professional Restorative Justice facilitator, who created the Restorative Relationship Conversations Model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. Some of the specific questions we discuss in this episode include:

• How important is similarity in relationships?
• How can opening up a relationship amplify differences between partners?
• How do you navigate communication differences in relationships?
• Why is it important for partners to do an inventory of their similarities and differences?
• How can non-monogamy help relationships thrive when big differences exist between partners?

To learn more, you can visit Jessica and David's websites, and preorder Polywise here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

If you ask any sex educator, researcher, or therapist what the most common question they receive is, they’re probably going to have a very quick answer. People ask us a LOT of sex questions—and the same ones have a tendency of popping up over and over again. So let's talk about some of the most common things that people ask us about! I am joined once again by Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB. She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive producer, and host of the Sex Ed with DB podcast. Some of the questions we answer in this episode include:

• Does penis size really matter?
• How much is "too much" when it comes to masturbation?
• What are some healthy ways to share your sexual interests with a partner?
• Does "body count" matter? Should we care about the number of people our partners have had sex with?
• If you've never had an orgasm before or are not sure if you've had one, what do you need to know?

To stay connected, you can check out DB's website, and find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. You can also sign up for DB's workshop "Building a Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand" here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore your kinky side with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2332-lehmiller Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

Making a sustainable living as a sex educator is harder than it sounds. Despite all you’ve heard about how “sex sells,” it’s actually a much tougher sell than you might think! There are a lot of challenges to navigate when you’re talking about a controversial subject like sex on a daily basis, so let's talk about being in the business of sex and how to build a thriving career in this area. My guest today is Danielle Bezalel, also known as DB. She holds a degree in public health from Columbia University and is the creator, executive producer, and host of the Sex Ed with DB podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What are some common challenges of trying to "sell" sex education?
• How do you talk about sex on social media without getting censored or banned?
• How can you build a financially sustainable business as a sex educator?
• How do you balance building industry relationships without giving away too much for free?
• What are some of the best parts of being a sex educator?

To stay connected, you can check out DB's website, and find her on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. You can also sign up for DB's workshop "Building a Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand" here. Thank you to our sponsors! Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securitysexuality.com Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

A lot of people have ideas about sex therapy that are totally wrong. For example, some people seem to think that the therapist is going to be having sex with you, or that they're going to watch you have sex. This could not be further from the truth! So let's talk about what sex therapy is and isn’t. In this show, we're also going to explore who sex therapy is for, how long it typically lasts, how well it works, and much more. I am joined once again by Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an assistant professor, board certified clinical health psychologist, and AASECT certified sex therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Vencill’s first popular press book is titled DESIRE: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which she co-authored with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What are some common things people get wrong about sex therapy?
• When someone visits a sex therapist for the first time, what might that first session look like?
• How long might someone expect to be in sex therapy to resolve a sexual problem?
• Who is a good candidate for sex therapy?
• What does couples sex therapy look like?
• How successful is sex therapy at treating and resolving sexual and relationship difficulties?

To stay connected, you can follow Jennifer on Instagram. Looking for a sex therapist? Check out this page for a handy list of therapist locater tools. Thank you to our sponsors! Make oral sex your superpower with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Sign up today for Beducated’s FREE oral sex video training at https://beducate.me/lm2331-lehmiller  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

The most commonly offered piece of sex advice I hear people give is to communicate more. While this advice certainly makes sense, simply telling people to "communicate more" can ring kind of hollow if it's not coupled with information on how to do it. Most of us recognize the importance of communication; however, we don't always do it because we often lack communication skills. So let's talk about how to talk about sex! I am joined once again by Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. Along with Jennifer Vencill, Lauren is co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which we covered in the previous two episodes. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How can partners get in the habit of talking about sex without it being a source of anxiety?
• What are some strategies for bringing up sexual difficulties with a partner?
• How can we express our "no's" and hear a partner's "no's" in more productive ways?
• What are some healthy ways to share our fantasies and desires with a partner?
• How can you leverage non-verbal communication to express your sexual wants and needs?

To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren's website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

In the previous episode, we talked about sexual desire discrepancies, which occur when partners want different amounts of sex in a relationship. In that show, we focused on how to navigate this situation when you’re the partner with less sexual desire. Today, we’re going to focus on the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner with more sexual desire. No matter which side of the desire discrepancy you’re on, it can be a difficult situation to navigate, but there are lot of tips and strategies you can explore to help bridge the divide. My guest today is Dr. Jennifer Vencill, an assistant professor, board certified clinical health psychologist, and AASECT certified sex therapist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr. Vencill’s first popular press book is titled DESIRE: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships, which she co-authored with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What is the role of gender in sexual desire discrepancies?
• What does it mean to have "high libido" anyway?
• How can looking at your own motivations for sex help manage discrepant desire?
• What are the roles of self-pleasure and consensual non-monogamy in navigating desire discrepancies?
• What can a high-desire partner do to be supportive of a partner who might have lower desire due to trauma?

To stay connected, you can follow Jennifer on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

In long-term sexual relationships, partners aren't always on the same page about sex. This is normal. However, when a sexual desire discrepancy becomes large and persistent, it can become a significant source of conflict and distress. So let's talk about how to navigate desire discrepancies. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the subject. Today, we're going to discuss what to do when you’re the one who wants less sex. In the next episode, we’re going to talk about the flipside: what to do when you’re the partner who wants more sex. My guest is Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy, a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist. She is the co-author of the forthcoming book, Desire: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships. Her co-author of this book, Jennifer Vencill, will join me for the next episode. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How common are sexual desire discrepancies?
• What are some of the factors that can negatively affect libido and lead to a decline in sexual desire?
• What does it really mean to have "low libido?" Is your libido actually low, or does it just seem low compared to your partner?
• What are some strategies for reconnecting with your partner when dealing with low libido?
• What is sensate focus, and how can it be helpful in dealing with a sexual desire discrepancy?

To learn more, make sure to check out Lauren's website and connect with her on Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. ***

From Albert Einstein to James Joyce, it turns out that a lot of revered historical figures had fascinating intimate lives and a proclivity for kink. So let’s continue the discussion of kinky history we started in the previous episode! Today, we’re going to talk about the kinky sex lives of some famous folks from the past, but we’re also going to explore the history and evolution of various sexual behaviors, from oral sex to pegging to foot fetishes. I am joined once again by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her series Kinky History, which has amassed nearly 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne and author of the upcoming book Kinky History: The Stories Behind Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present. She also hosts the popular Kinky History podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How long have humans been practicing fellatio, cunnilingus, and rimming? And how have these behaviors changed over time?
• Is pegging really a new sexual practice?
• Why might fetishes and kinks rise during epidemics and pandemics?
• Why have feet historically been one of the most common fetish objects?
• What are the kinky histories of author James Joyce and scientist Albert Einstein?

To learn more, check out Esmé's website, and stay connected with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. ***

It turns out that for as long as humans have been having sex, they’ve been having pretty kinky sex! So let's talk about our kinky history. In today's episode, we’re going to explore the history of BDSM, the origins of the dildo and vibrator (and how they came to be so popular), the world’s first pornographic novel (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), and more. All of these things have fascinating stories behind them—and learning about them can help us to better understand modern human sexuality. I am joined by Esmé Louise James, who is best known for her series Kinky History, which has amassed nearly 3 million followers across her social media accounts. Esmé is a PhD candidate at the University of Melbourne and author of the upcoming book Kinky History: The Stories Behind Our Intimate Lives, Past and Present. She also hosts the popular Kinky History podcast. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why is it important for us to understand kinky history in a way that isn't centered around shame and gossip?
• How long have humans been into kink and BDSM?
• When did humans start making dildos?
• What are the origins of the vibrator, and how did it come to be so popular?
• What is the significance of the book Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure?
• What is a day in the life of a sex historian like?

To learn more, check out Esmé's website, and stay connected with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

In recent years, the term "ethical non-monogamy" has gone mainstream. But what does it actually mean to be ethically non-monogamous? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to explore some common myths and misconceptions about it, tips for making ethically non-monogamous relationships work, as well as red flags to look out for. I am joined once again by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's "10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok." She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• What does it mean for non-monogamy to be "ethical?"
• What do the terms "one-penis policy" and "unicorn hunting" mean? And why are they red flags in the world of non-monogamy?
• How can an overemphasis on fairness lead to a competitive dynamic in polyamory?
• Can polyamory be ethical regardless of whether it's hierarchical or non-hierarchical?
• How can individuals establish healthy and workable non-monogamy agreements?

Make sure to check out Leanne's website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started. ***

Interest in polyamory is on the rise. Google searches for it have been increasing for years, it’s increasingly being discussed in the popular media, and some municipalities are starting to offer legal recognition of polyamorous relationships. So what is it actually like to be polyamorous? My guest today is going to share her own personal poly journey. We’re going to discuss the benefits and challenges of multi-partner relationships, when the right time is to open up a monogamous relationship, and so much more. I am joined by Leanne Yau, also known as Poly Philia. She is a polyamory educator and sex-positive social media influencer, creating and curating humorous and educational memes, tips, videos, and other bite-size content on non-monogamy, queer relationships, and sex positivity. She was named #1 in Cosmopolitan's "10 Polyamory Experts to Follow on TikTok." She is currently in training to become a polyamory-friendly therapist. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How is age related to interest in polyamory?
• Is it easier to introduce non-monogamy at the start of a relationship, or to wait until later?
• What are some of the biggest benefits of being non-monogamous? What are some of the biggest challenges?
• How do relationship structures and agreements change over time in polyamory?

Make sure to check out Leanne's website, and connect with her on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

It is hard to believe, but we recently reached episode number 200 of this podcast! So how do you celebrate 200 episodes of a sex show? I decided to put together a compilation of some of the most fascinating facts about sex we’ve discussed to date. One of my co-managing editors at Sex and Psychology, Olivia Adams, helped me to narrow down several segments that are well worth revisiting. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• "Erotic self-focus" or the degree to which you turn yourself on, with guest Dr. Marta Meana (Episode 126)
• The growing number of men who are involuntarily celibate, with guest William Costello (Episode 133)
• What women are looking for in their affairs (and how they feel about them), with guest Susan Shapiro Barash (Episode 191)
• How religious values shape the way we interpret our own porn use, with guest Dr. Joshua Grubbs (Episode 186)
• The benefits of being single and how they change with age, with guest Dr. Yuthika Girme (Episode 174)

In this show, I mentioned that there's a guide for how to use this podcast as a companion teaching resource alongside my textbook, The Psychology of Human Sexuality. This resource is already up on the site, and you can access it here.  Thank you to our sponsors!

CHEEX is a subscription-based sexual wellness platform offering a safe space for both entertainment and education. You’ll find sex tutorials, live workshops, erotic films and audio stories, as well as a taboo-breaking magazine. Try CHEEX for free for 7 days when you select the annual subscription option and use discount code LEHMILLER. Visit https://getcheex.com to get started.

Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you'll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Humans are wired to feel good when we get the kind of touch that we want. But when we can’t get that, it’s bad for both our physical and psychological health. Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, most Americans said that they weren’t getting enough intimacy and affection, and this number has only increased since. So how can we fill this touch void in our lives? Could modern technology offer some solutions?  In today’s show, we’re going to discuss digital touch and whether tech might offer new and effective ways to meet our need for intimate contact. I am joined once again by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• Why is touch crucial to making virtual reality an immersive experience?
• How close is modern technology to mimicking real-life sensations of touch?
• To what extent can technology be an effective substitute for human touch?
• Is it realistic to think we can get the same benefits from mechanical touch that we can from human touch?
• What are the ethical concerns surrounding digital touch?

Make sure to check out Michael's website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

One of the keys to maintaining healthy, long-term romantic relationships is physical intimacy. I’m not just talking about sex, though. For many reasons, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more so. In today’s show, we’re going to do a deep dive into why touch is so powerful, as well as why affectionate touch is one of the best ways to initiate sex and to have great sex. We’re also going to explore practical tips for bringing more touch into your relationships. I am joined by Dr. Michael Banissy, an award-winning Professor in Social Neuroscience and a science communicator. He has received multiple prizes for his contributions to Psychological Science, including a medal from the British Psychological Society. Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being is his first book (note that in the UK, his book is titled When We Touch). Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• Why is kissing such an important part of intimate touch?
• How does culture influence our preferred forms of intimate touch?
• How and why is hugging beneficial for our relationships?
• Why is touch so important during sexual initiation?
• How can physical affection help to unlock the benefits of sex on our well-being?
• What does it mean to "make affection, not love?"

Make sure to check out Michael's website to learn more, and connect with him on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Let's talk about sexual fantasies! In today's show, we’re going to explore what people fantasize about doing sexually—and how that varies around the world. So how does culture influence what we fantasize about? We’re also going to discuss how people feel about their fantasies, where our fantasies come from, and how they change over the course of our lives. In addition, we’ll talk about some practical tips and tricks for sharing fantasies with a partner in case you’re interested in bringing them to life. I am joined once again by Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How similar or different are sexual fantasy themes around the world?
• Why do Europeans seem to fantasize about cuckolding less than Americans?
• How might our political beliefs affect our fantasies?
• How do people feel about their sexual fantasies?
• What do we know about the origins of our fantasies?
• What's the best way to share a fantasy with a partner?

Head over to Company New Heroes' website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle's book can be found on the publisher's website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Let therapy be your map and get on your way to being your best self with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH to get 10% off your first month.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

Sexual fantasies are fascinating! There is so much diversity and variability in the way we envision these scenarios, so let's talk about it. Today, we’re going to dive into some of the interesting details of our fantasy worlds, including where they take place, the perspective from which we see things, and the storylines they follow. My guest is Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• What questions should you ask when interviewing people about their sexual fantasies?
• Beyond vision, what role do the other senses (smell, taste, sound, touch) play in sexual fantasies?
• Where do people usually fantasize about having sex? How important is the setting in our fantasies?
• Do we usually appear in our own fantasies and, if so, how do we tend to represent ourselves?
• Do people tend to see their fantasies from a first-person POV perspective, or from a third-person perspective (i.e., like they're watching a movie)?
• Do fantasies usually have a distinct storyline with a beginning, middle, and end?

Head over to Company New Heroes' website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle's book can be found on the publisher's website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? There's a lot more that goes into it than you might think! In today's show, I'm going to interview a porn director about her process, including where she gets her ideas about what kinds of films to make in the first place. We'll also talk about all the work and conversations that happen long before people ever strip down and start having sex, what it's like to be on a porn set, how long it takes to film a scene, as well as what happens after filming ends. My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• What is it like to be on the set of an adult film?
• Is the sex scripted/choreographed, or does it occur organically?
• What's going on inside a director's mind during filming?
• Is making adult films an arousing experience?
• What does aftercare look like in the world of porn?

Be sure to check out more on Paulita's website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

Over the last decade or so, many of the conversations about porn taking place in the popular media have shifted to the topics of ethical porn and feminist porn. But what does it really mean for porn to be ethical or feminist in nature? Does this imply that all mainstream porn is inherently unethical? Can we really think about the porn industry in these black-and-white, good vs. bad terms? Let's talk about it! My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include:

• What do the terms "ethical porn" and "feminist porn" mean?
• What are some specific actions directors can take to bring ethical and feminist values into filmmaking?
• What does it mean to be an ethical porn consumer?
• As a porn consumer, what should you be looking for in order to support ethical productions?
• How can we convince people to start paying for their porn?

Be sure to check out more on Paulita's website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. You can also read our review of Paulita's "How To Watch Porn" course here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren't in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let's talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users, a website that facilitates affairs and has a mostly male audience. We’re going to discuss why men (including those in happy relationships) have affairs and how it affects their primary relationships. I am joined by Dr. Dylan Selterman, a social/personality psychologist and an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University. Dylan is a TEDx speaker and has written for The Washington Post, National Geographic, and Psychology Today. He also co-hosts a podcast called A Bit More Complicated. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include:

• How are sexual and relationship satisfaction linked to infidelity?
• How many Ashley Madison users are in open relationships vs. committing infidelity?
• What motivates men to seek affairs?
• How do they feel about their affairs ?
• What predicts whether an affair becomes a breaking point for a relationship?

Be sure to check out Dylan's website and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. You can also check out our recent blog post about this study to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

Imagine a woman wanders around a college campus and asks 100 different men at random whether they'd have sex with her. Now imagine a man wandering around the same campus asking 100 women for sex. How many people do you think would agree in each case? It turns out that we have the answers because this exact study has been done before! Today's show is going to be all about how people respond to offers of casual sex from strangers, and how the results are similar or different across persons of different genders and sexualities. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• Why are women less likely to accept offers of casual sex than men?
• Under what circumstances are women most likely to accept offers of casual sex?
• What would happen if a celebrity (vs. a random stranger) asked you for casual sex?
• What is Pleasure Theory, and how can it help us to better understand human sexuality?
• Are lesbians as willing to accept offers of casual sex as gay men?

For further reading on this subject, check out: Clark, R. D., & Hatfield, E. (1989). Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 2(1), 39-55. Conley, T. D. (2011). Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(2), 309. Matsick, J. L., Kruk, M., Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., & Ziegler, A. (2021). Gender Similarities and Differences in Casual Sex Acceptance Among Lesbian Women and Gay Men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50(3), 1151-1166. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

In 2017, the world’s first sex doll brothel opened its doors. Since then, several others have opened up in major cities around the world.  These brothels exist in a gray legal zone and a lot of governments don’t want them around, which makes it tricky not just to set up shop, but to actually stay in business. So what is a sex doll brothel actually like? Who visits these establishments, what are they looking for, and how much does it cost? Let's take an inside look at Cybrothel, a very unique sex doll brothel in Berlin where customers pay to have sex with a doll while a human sex worker provides the doll’s voice to make the client's fantasies come to life. I am joined once again by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How is a sex doll brothel different from a traditional brothel?
• How common are sex doll brothels around the world? Where are they located?
• What is it like to serve as the voice for a sex doll?
• Who is the clientele for these brothels?
• What does it cost to visit a sex doll brothel? How does this compare to rates for in-person sex work?
• Will sex doll brothels eventually replace in-person sex work, or are they serving different audiences?

Be sure to check out Kenneth's website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

Modern sextech is rapidly changing the way people gratify their sexual and intimate desires. Sex dolls, sex robots, and chatbots are starting to become more accessible and popular. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss who is using these new technologies, their motivations, and the complex debate that’s playing out in the popular media about whether sextech is a positive or negative force in our lives. I am joined by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How many people have ever used a sex doll, chatbot, or sex robot?
• How are age, gender, and relationship status associated with sextech use?
• What are some of the key factors that motivate people to use sex dolls, chatbots, or sex robots?
• How effective is sextech at meeting people's needs for intimacy and companionship?
• What are some of the key ethical concerns related to sextech?

Be sure to check out Kenneth's website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH and get on your way to being your best self. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

In the United States, a whopping 89% of teens now have smartphones. Parents give their kids these devices for numerous reasons, with safety being at the top of the list; however, parents don’t necessarily know or have control over how their kids are using their phones. And a heck of a lot of kids are using them for sexting. This has created a lot of controversy and debate. Some see it as an inherently dangerous trend that poses great risk to teens, whereas others see it as just another way that youth are exploring their sexuality in an increasingly digital word. So let's talk about teen sexting, including tips for safer-sexting, and what to do if you've discovered that your child is sexting. I am joined once again by Dr. Michele Meek, a writer, filmmaker, professor, and entrepreneur. She is an Assistant Professor in the Communication Studies department at Bridgewater State University. Her most recent book Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies delves into the history of adolescent sexuality in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How prevalent is teen sexting?
• What motivates sexting among teens and adolescents?
• How worried should we be about the rise of teen sexting?
• What should parents know about sexting, and what should they be teaching their kids about it?
• How does sex ed need to change to best serve today's youth?

Be sure to check out Michele's website to learn more about her films, writing, and other projects. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

When people today look back at popular films and TV shows from decades past, they are often completely aghast at the sex scenes. Through our modern lens, they frequently read as problematic. While things have certainly changed in recent years, consent remains an elusive ideal, and one that Hollywood still struggles to get right with on-screen portrayals of sex.  So let's explore how consent culture is shaping the way that sexuality (and, in particular, teenage sexuality) is depicted in the media. For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Michele Meek, a writer, filmmaker, professor, and entrepreneur. She is an Assistant Professor in the Communication Studies department at Bridgewater State University. Her most recent book Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies delves into the history of adolescent sexuality in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How have portrayals of teen sexuality on screen changed over time?
• What does the term "consent culture" mean?
• How is consent culture changing the way sexuality is portrayed in popular media?
• How does media exposure impact young viewers when it comes to sexuality and relationships?
• What are some examples of films or media that can serve as teachable moments about consent?

Be sure to check out Michele's website to learn more about her films, writing, and other projects. Thank you to our sponsors! Make oral sex your superpower with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Sign up today for Beducated’s FREE oral sex video training at https://beducate.me/pd2321-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

Picture a married heterosexual woman who is having an affair. Why do you think she's engaging in infidelity? It is purely about sex and pleasure? Is it about intimacy and emotional connection? Is she doing it just because she can? Women's affairs can take a lot of different forms, so let’s talk about them. In today’s show, we’re going to explore four distinct types of affairs that women have, as well as how women feel about their affairs. Are they happy that they did it, or do they have regrets? I am joined once again by author Susan Shapiro Barash. She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writes fiction under her pen name Susannah Marren. Susan’s latest book is titled A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. In this book, Susan presents three decades of research she conducted on heterosexual women in monogamous relationships who committed infidelity. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What motivates women to have affairs?
• What is the difference between an empowering affair, a sex-driven affair, a love affair, and a self-esteem affair?
• Are some types of affairs more prevalent than others?
• How did the pandemic impact women's infidelity?
• How do women feel about the affairs they're had?

Be sure to check out Susan's website to learn more, and be sure to check out Episode 190 for even more on Susan's work Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Rates of infidelity have risen over the last half-century; however, if you break the data down by gender, it turns out that men’s rate of infidelity has remained relatively stable, whereas women's has increased. So what’s behind the rise in female infidelity? And what are the implications of this for modern-day marriages and relationships? Let's talk about it! I am joined today by author Susan Shapiro Barash. She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writes fiction under her pen name Susannah Marren. Susan’s latest book is titled A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. In this book, Susan presents three decades of research she conducted on heterosexual women in monogamous relationships who committed infidelity. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• Are women today actually cheating more, or are they just more willing to admit to it than they were in the past?
• What role does technology play in women's infidelity?
• How is age related to having an affair among women?
• In what ways do women say that affairs made their relationships or marriages better?
• At what point do affairs become a catalyst to leave a relationship?

Be sure to check out Susan's website to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Asexuality is a broad umbrella term that refers to individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to others, or who only do so under rare or limited circumstances. Growing research in this area is helping to shed important light on the nature of asexuality because there are a lot of misconceptions about it, such as the idea that asexuality is a sexual dysfunction. But that’s not the case—and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to be exploring a new study that looks at sexual arousal and response in asexual men. The results are fascinating and help to give us a better understanding of what asexuality is and is not. I am joined once again by Dr. Malvina Skorska, a Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Toronto Mississauga and at Brock University. She is also in training to become a psychotherapist in order to bridge both research and clinical work. Her research focuses on sexual orientation and gender dysphoria and has been published in leading scientific journals. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• How is asexuality defined scientifically?
• Why is it important to study asexual person’s sexual response and function?
• What can studying asexual persons' sexual response and function tell us about the nature of asexuality?
• When showing people erotic films, how are asexual men's sexual responses similar to or different from those of gay and heterosexual men?
• How are the fantasies of asexual men different from men of other sexual orientations?
• What do we know about sexual arousal and response in asexual women?

Be sure to check out Malvina's website to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

Where does a person's sexual orientation come from? Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of studies have attempted to answer this question. This research suggests that there isn’t a simple explanation and that two people might develop the same sexual orientation for very different reasons. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the current state of the science, including what we know about the roles of immunological, hormonal, and genetic factors. We’re also going to discuss why we know less about the development of sexual orientation in women than in men, as well as some of the complexities inherent in studying the origins of human sexuality. My guest is Dr. Malvina Skorska, a Postdoctoral Fellow at the University of Toronto Mississauga and at Brock University. She is also in training to become a psychotherapist in order to bridge both research and clinical work. Her research focuses on sexual orientation and gender dysphoria and has been published in leading scientific journals. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• Why is it important to study how sexual orientation develops?
• How is sexual orientation defined in scientific research, given that sexual attraction, behavior, and identity do not overlap perfectly?
• Why are men with more older brothers more likely to be gay?
• How is testosterone exposure in the womb related to sexual orientation?
• Is there such a thing as a "gay gene?"

Be sure to check out Malvina's website to learn more about her work. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH and get on your way to being your best self. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

Some adults feel highly distressed about their porn use. In most of these cases, the root cause of the problem can be traced back to shame or moral conflicts surrounding porn. At the same time, however, not all porn problems stem from moral issues. For some folks, the problem is that they have what’s known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder, which involves "out of control" behavior relating to porn use or other sex acts. This is the final installment of a four-part series on the science of porn and, today, we're going to do a deep dive into compulsive sexual behavior. I am joined once again by Dr. Joshua Grubbs, a clinical psychologist and associate professor in the Clinical Psychology program at Bowling Green State University. Josh will soon be joining the faculty in the Clinical Science PhD Program at the University of New Mexico and the Center for Alcohol, Substance use and Addiction. He conducts research on addiction, personality, and morality, he has published more than 100 peer-reviewed articles. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• Compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, and sex addiction are all terms that get thrown around when people report problems stemming from porn use. Which one should we be using?
• What might compulsive sexual behavior disorder look like in everyday life?
• What constitutes "too much" when it comes to porn use or sex?
• How common is compulsive sexual behavior? Is there a gender difference in it?
• What might a typical treatment approach look like for compulsive sexual behavior?

Learn more about Josh on his website, and follow him on Twitter @JoshuaGrubbsPhD. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH and get on your way to being your best self. Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

Research on pornography's effects points to a fascinating paradox: the people who report the most problems stemming from porn use are often the ones using the least porn! How is that possible? That's what we're going to be discussing today. This is the third installment in a four-part series on the science of porn. In this show, we’re going to dive into what’s known as moral incongruence, which is when people engage in sexual behaviors, like porn use, that conflict with their moral values. We're also going to explore how porn affects both religious and non-religious persons, as well as how therapists treat problems relating to moral incongruence. I am joined by Dr. Joshua Grubbs, a clinical psychologist and associate professor in the Clinical Psychology program at Bowling Green State University. Josh will soon be joining the faculty in the Clinical Science PhD Program at the University of New Mexico and the Center for Alcohol, Substance use and Addiction. He conducts research on addiction, personality, and morality, he has published more than 100 peer-reviewed articles. Some of the specific topics we discuss include:

• What is meant by the term "moral incongruence" and what are some of the ways that this might play out?
• How is moral incongruence related to whether individuals self-identify as "porn addicts?"
• Do religious people have more porn problems than non-religious people, or do their problems just stem from different causes?
• What is the impact of moral incongruence on people's sex lives and relationships?
• Clinically, how do you help a person who experiences a conflict between their sexual interests and personal values?

Learn more about Josh on his website, and follow him on Twitter @JoshuaGrubbsPhD. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

The growing anti-porn movement has fueled the rise of an entire industry centered around selling people on the idea of masturbatory abstinence. Often referred to as a “reboot,” these programs encourage men to forego self-pleasure and orgasm for prolonged periods of time, which they say is necessary to reset the brain and boost testosterone. But do these programs work as advertised? This is the second installment in a 4-part series on the science of porn and, today, we’re going to go inside the world of porn addiction recovery programs. I’m joined once again by Dr. Nicole Prause, a licensed psychologist and sex researcher, founder of the sexual biotechnology company Liberos, and a scientist in the Department of Medicine at UCLA. Nicole has studied the experiences of hundreds of men who tried reboot programs, and the results suggest that these programs may actually be causing harm and taking a toll on men’s mental health. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Where is the rise in anti-porn sentiment coming from?
• What might a typical reboot program look like?
• What does a "relapse" mean in the context of a reboot? How common is this kind of relapse?
• How do men engaged in reboot programs fare in terms of their mental health and sexual function?
• For individuals who feel distressed about their porn usage, what can they do?

Learn more about Nicole and her work over at Liberos and follow her on Twitter @NicoleRPrause. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. On display now in the Kinsey Institute’s Beebe Gallery on the IU Bloomington campus: Universal Language: The Legacy of Sexual and Gender Diversity in the Kinsey Institute Collections. Open to the public on the 3rd floor of Lindley Hall 9:30am - 4pm Monday to Friday. Learn more about upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or follow the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

How does porn affect us? And are people becoming "addicted" to it? Today, we're going to begin a four-part series on the science of porn to better understand its effects. For our first show, we’re going to discuss why different studies of porn have yielded different conclusions, why porn shouldn’t be thought of as addictive in the same way that drugs are, whether there’s a link between porn and sexual violence, as well as how we can have more productive conversations about pornography. I’m joined by Dr. Nicole Prause, a licensed psychologist and sex researcher who founded the sexual biotechnology company Liberos. She is a former Kinsey Institute trainee and has published an extensive body of research on the neuroscience and psychophysiology of sex. She is currently a scientist at the University of California, Los Angeles in the Department of Medicine. Some of the topics we discuss on this show include:

• What counts as porn anyway, and how can you accurately measure porn use on surveys when different people hold different definitions of porn?
• Why are there so many discrepant findings in the scientific literature about pornography's effects?
• Why shouldn't we think of porn as addictive? How should we think of it instead?
• When people identify porn as a problem in their lives, is porn per se really the issue or is there something else going on?
• In what ways can porn potentially have positive effects on people?

Learn more about Nicole and her work over at Liberos and follow her on Twitter @NicoleRPrause. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Visiting Miami? Check out two art exhibitions from the Kinsey Institute on display at the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum located in the heart of South Beach at 1205 S Washing Ave. Open Monday to Saturday 11am - 6pm. Learn more about upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or follow the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Although the Southern United States is often seen as a bastion for conservative sexual values, it has a very deep and rich sexual history worth exploring, especially when you consider a city like Atlanta. Often described as “the strip club capital of America,” Atlanta has long been a home to sex work, as well as LGBTQ nightlife. And these "vice" establishments actually played a vital role in the city’s tremendous growth, both as a place to live and visit. In today’s show, we’re going to pull back the cover on Atlanta’s fascinating sexual history. I am joined once again by writer and historian Martin Padgett. His is the author of A Night at the Sweet Gum Head, which tells the story of Atlanta’s gay revolution in the 1970s. He is also working on a new book titled The Many Passions of Michael Hardwick, which tells the story of what is arguably the most important gay rights case in history. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How did a burgeoning sex scene develop in in the middle of what has historically been a very conservative state?
• How did the sex scene it Atlanta set the stage for the city's growth?
• What made Atlanta a popular home and destination for the LGBTQ community?
• How did the nightlife scene in Atlanta help to galvanize the gay rights movement?
• How can visiting so-called "vice" establishments also be a virtue in terms of promoting self-acceptance and sex-positivity?

Find out more about Martin on his website. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Visiting Miami? Check out two art exhibitions from the Kinsey Institute on display at the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum located in the heart of South Beach at 1205 S Washing Ave. Open Monday to Saturday 11am - 6pm. Also, on display now in the Kinsey Institute’s Beebe Gallery on the IU Bloomington campus: Universal Language: The Legacy of Sexual and Gender Diversity in the Kinsey Institute Collections. Open to the public on the 3rd floor of Lindley Hall 9:30am - 4pm Monday to Friday. Learn more about upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or follow the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Until 1960, sodomy was illegal throughout the entire United States. While this technically made oral and anal sex illegal for everyone, these laws were largely enforced only when sodomy occurred between persons of the same sex. Sodomy laws have since been repealed in most states and, since 2003, they are no longer enforceable anywhere in the country. But does this mean that sodomy laws are gone for good? In the wake of the Roe v Wade reversal, one Supreme Court justice called to revisit the issue, which is setting off alarm bells. So today’s show is all about the past, present, and future of sodomy laws. I am joined by writer and historian Martin Padgett. His is the author of A Night at the Sweet Gum Head, which tells the story of Atlanta’s gay revolution in the 1970s. He is also working on a new book titled The Many Passions of Michael Hardwick, which tells the story of what is arguably the most important gay rights case in history. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• The story of Michael Hardwick, who was arrested for having consensual sex with another man in the 1980s and appealed his case to the highest court in the land.
• The 1986 Bowers v Hardwick Supreme Court case that upheld sodomy laws.
• The 2003 Supreme Court case that declared sodomy laws unconstitutional.
• How the reversal of sodomy laws paved the way for same-sex marriage and non-discrimination laws.
• Current attempts to revive old laws that infringe on sexual and reproductive freedom.
• The future of sodomy laws in the U.S.

Learn more about Martin on his website. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

Nationally representative surveys of North American adults have found that about 1 in 5 people say they’ve been in a sexually open relationship at some point, with an even larger number expressing interest in this relationship style. So what makes people more vs. less interested in consensual non-monogamy (CNM)? In today's show, we’re going to look at how different attachment styles are related to CNM interest and experience. We’re also going to explore the roots of the stigma against sexually open relationships, as well as how this stigma affects CNM partners. I am joined once again by Dr. Amy Moors, an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Chapman University. Her research focuses on sexuality, consensually non-monogamous relationships, and LGBTQ+ issues. Amy has published more than 55 journal articles and book chapters, and has received several awards for her pioneering research on polyamory. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• How is avoidant attachment related to consensual non-monogamy? What about anxious attachment?
• How is the structure of polyamory (i.e., hierarchical vs. non-hierarchical) related to attachment style?
• Why do so many people seem so convinced that consensual non-monogamy just can’t work?
• How can polyamorous individuals identify healthcare providers who are affirming?
• How are attitudes toward polyamory and CNM more broadly changing?

Check out more about Amy and the ONWARD Lab on her website, and be sure to follow Amy on Twitter @ACMoors. Thank you to our sponsors! Researchers at Ball State University are currently recruiting participants for a study examining the experiences of individuals in at least one polyamorous relationship. If you are (1) age 18 years or older, (2) currently identify as polyamorous, and (3) are part of at least one consensual polyamorous relationship, visit https://bsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3k3QXZnrXX3rCCy to participate. The survey should take no longer than 45 minutes and you will have an equal opportunity to receive one of forty (40) $25 Tango gift cards for your voluntary participation.  ***

A 2023 nationally representative survey of 1,000 American adults conducted by YouGov inquired about people’s attitudes toward various forms of non-monogamy and found that most adults tend to view it negatively no matter what form it takes, from open relationships to swinging to polyamory. Why is consensual non-monogamy viewed in such a negative light? In part, it’s because people hold a lot of misconceptions about it. So let’s take a look at fact versus fiction when it comes to consensually non-monogamous relationships. For today’s show, I am joined by Dr. Amy Moors, an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Chapman University. Her research focuses on sexuality, consensually non-monogamous relationships, and LGBTQ+ issues. Amy has published more than 55 journal articles and book chapters, and has received several awards for her pioneering research on polyamory. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• What do we know about who engages in consensual non-monogamy?
• What are the main reasons people pursue consensual non-monogamy?
• Are conflict and jealousy inevitable in consensual non-monogamous relationships?
• How do rates of STIs compare between monogamous and consensually non-monogamous persons?
• What does research say about parenting skills and families among consensually non-monogamous persons?

Find out more about Amy and the ONWARD Lab on her website, and be sure to follow Amy on Twitter @ACMoors. Thank you to our sponsors! Researchers at Ball State University are currently recruiting participants for a study examining the experiences of individuals in at least one polyamorous relationship. If you are (1) age 18 years or older, (2) currently identify as polyamorous, and (3) are part of at least one consensual polyamorous relationship, visit https://bsu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3k3QXZnrXX3rCCy to participate. The survey should take no longer than 45 minutes and you will have an equal opportunity to receive one of forty (40) $25 Tango gift cards for your voluntary participation.  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. ***

Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are increasingly finding sexual partners through apps such as Grindr. These apps haven’t just changed the way people find partners, though, they’ve also changed queer men and gay culture in major ways, some of which have been positive, while others have been negative. So let's talk about the good, bad, and ugly of gay hookup apps. I am joined once again by Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex writer. He is the sex and relationship columnist for Men’s Health, where he writes Sexplain It. He is the co-author of the book Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. Zach’s latest book is titled Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How are apps like Grindr different from apps that cater more to a heterosexual audience, like Tinder?
• What are some of the ways in which these apps have had positive effects on queer men and the gay community?
• Did Grindr really kill the gay bar?
• Do hookup apps make it easier to get the kind of sex you want?
• How can we reduce toxic behavior on hookup apps?
• How can individuals use these apps in healthy ways that don't take a toll on their mental health?

Content advisory: This episode contains very frank discussion of sexual matters. Check out more about Zach on his website, and be sure to follow him on Twitter and Instagram @ZacharyZane_. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

While the term “safe sex” might imply that there's a perfectly safe way to have sex, there’s always going to be some degree of risk, both physical and emotional. Whenever you have sex, you’re making a choice about the level of risk you’re willing to take on in order to experience the pleasures of sex. Everyone has a different risk tolerance, though, which is why we all make different choices. However, we have a tendency to shame everyone who has a different risk tolerance, whether it's higher or lower than our own. This sex shaming hurts everyone because it makes us less likely to talk openly about sex. So today we're going to talk about shedding sexual shame and feeling free and empowered to make your own sexual decisions. I am joined by Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based sex writer. He is the sex and relationship columnist for Men’s Health, where he writes Sexplain It. He is the co-author of the book Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. Zach’s latest book is titled Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why have men largely been left out of the sex-positivity conversation? And why is it important for everyone to be involved?
• How might the phrase "safe sex" be misleading when thinking about sexual risk? Should we be talking about "risk-aware sex" instead?
• Why do some people view STIs as an acceptable risk, while others view them as unacceptable?
• Why is it important to reduce stigma around STIs?
• Why is sex shaming so prevalent, even within the queer community?

Content advisory: This episode contains very frank discussion of sexual matters. Check out more about Zach on his website, and be sure to follow him on Twitter and Instagram @ZacharyZane_ Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

How do we prevent sex crimes from happening in the first place? Today, we're going to talk about some of the things that do (and don't) work. This is the second episode in a two-part series about sexual offending. In the previous show, we discussed what motivates people to sexually offend, so now that we have a sense of that, let's discuss issues of treatment and prevention. Dr. Michael Seto is back for this episode. He is a registered clinical and forensic psychologist and a research director with the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group. He is also a Professor in Psychiatry at the University of Ottawa. Michael has published extensively on the subject of sexual offending, which includes the books Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children and Internet Sex Offending. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why punishment isn't enough when it comes to stopping sexual offending.
• Whether sex offender registries are an effective deterrent to sex crimes.
• The most effective treatment approaches for reducing rates of sexual re-offending.
• Whether we can get people at risk of committing sex crimes to voluntarily seek treatment before committing an offense.
• How training in the fiend of psychology can be improved to prevent sexual violence.
• The role of comprehensive sex education in preventing sexual violence.

Make sure to follow Michael on Twitter @MCSeto and learn more about his research here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

Why do people commit sex crimes? We often hear that they're not really motivated by sex and, instead, that they're about power and control. However, it's more complex than that, and understanding that complexity is key to preventing these crimes from happening in the first place. So let's talk about. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the psychology of sexual offending and what we can do to stop it. Today, we'll focus on the why question. In the next show, we'll focus on prevention. I am joined by Dr. Michael Seto, a registered clinical and forensic psychologist and a research director with the Royal Ottawa Health Care Group. He is also a Professor in Psychiatry at the University of Ottawa. Michael has published extensively on the subject of sexual offending, which includes the books Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children and Internet Sex Offending. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How common is sexual offending?
• What are some of the common challenges in studying sexual offending?
• How does sexual violence relate to sex, power, and control?
• What is the Motivation-Facilitation Model, and how can it help us to understand the psychology behind sex crimes?
• How is sexual fantasy related to sexual offending?
• How common is it for sex offenders to reoffend? And can we predict who is most likely to do so?

Make sure to follow Michael on Twitter @MCSeto and learn more about his research here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  ***

The stereotype we often hear about singles in the popular media is that they’re sad. In reality, however, a lot of them are thriving and living their best lives, which we talked all about in the previous episode. But being single isn't sunshine and rainbows for everyone, though. For some, being single just sucks. So let's talk about it. In this episode, we're going take a look at when and why people struggle with single life and the factors that can make it a negative experience, including social exclusion, attachment anxiety, social pressure to be in a relationship, and more. I am joined once again by Dr. Yuthika Girme, an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Simon Fraser University in Canada, who has conducted extensive research on singlehood. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• In what ways are singles stigmatized or "singled out" in modern society?
• What is the role of family and culture in shaping people's experiences with being single?
• How is singlehood experienced similarly or differently for men and women?
• How does sexual orientation factor into experiences with singlehood?
• How does attachment style impact one's feelings about being single?

Check out  the SECURE lab to learn more about Yuthika's research, and be sure to follow her on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

The number of American adults living single has been on the rise for years. Part of this increase has been driven by a growing number of folks who simply prefer the single life. And, for them, being single can be awesome. At the same time, though, some singles don't want to be single and they're pretty miserable. So let's talk about the good, bad, and ugly of singlehood. I have a two-part series for you on what it's like to be single today. In this episode we’re going to explore the positive side of singlehood and, next time, we’re going to explore the negative side. I am joined by Dr. Yuthika Girme, an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Simon Fraser University in Canada. Her research focuses on reconciling the complexities associated with singlehood and relationship experiences with the aim of fostering security and well-being. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why have relationship researchers historically downplayed the experiences of singles?
• What are some of the reasons people might choose to be single? What do they see as the benefits?
• Why are older singles more satisfied than younger singles?
• When are singles most likely to be sexually satisfied?
• Why might someone prioritize having friendships (or platonic life partners) over romantic relationships?
• How do our personal (and cultural) values shape the experience of singlehood?

Check out  the SECURE lab to learn more about Yuthika's research, and be sure to follow her on Twitter. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded "most innovative sex toy of the year" by XBIZ! FirmTech's Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

In the previous episode, we talked all about the pelvic floor, including what it is, the important role it plays in sexual function, as well as what you need to know about Kegel exercises. Today, we’re going to be continuing our conversation on pelvic health by exploring the world of pelvic floor physical therapy. Pelvic floor therapy can potentially help to resolve everything from painful intercourse in women to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation in men. So how do you know whether pelvic floor physical therapy is right for you, and what does this kind of therapy actually look like? For today’s episode, I am joined once again by Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, an experienced pelvic floor physical therapist who works with patients of all genders and ages with pelvic health diagnoses. She is known for spreading evidence-based pelvic health information in humorous and relatable ways on social media through @ThePelvicDanceFloor, which has over 1 million combined followers between Instagram and Tiktok. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Who is pelvic floor physical therapy for? How do you know if it's right for you?
• How do you find a provider, and is this kind of therapy usually covered by insurance?
• What does a typical therapy session consist of?
• What sexual health issues can pelvic floor physical therapy help with?
• Beyond Kegels, what other kinds of exercises can help with pelvic health issues?

Make sure to check out Alicia on TikTok and Instagram @ThePelvicDanceFloor. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Put a "ring" on it with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

The pelvic floor is a super important set of muscles that plays a vital role in sexual, reproductive, urinary, and bowel function. However, most of us don't know all that much about it, which is a shame because paying attention to your pelvic health has the potential to improve your overall health and give you a boost in the bedroom, too. So, let's talk about what everyone needs to know about their pelvic floor! For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, an experienced pelvic floor physical therapist who works with patients of all genders and ages with pelvic health diagnoses. She is known for spreading evidence-based pelvic health information in humorous and relatable ways on social media through @ThePelvicDanceFloor, which has over 1 million combined followers between Instagram and Tiktok. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What is the pelvic floor anyway ?
• What are the most common pelvic floor issues, and how are they similar or different across genders?
• When (and for whom) are Kegel exercises a good idea?
• What's the right way to do Kegels?
• How do pelvic floor issues vary across the lifespan?
• What are some common myths and misconceptions about the pelvic floor?

Make sure to check out Alicia on TikTok and Instagram @ThePelvicDanceFloor. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  ***

A lot of people struggle with sexual initiation. In fact, this is one of the most common topics that readers and listeners ask me about! So why is sexual initiation so hard, and what can we do to make it easier? Let's talk about it! For today’s show, I am joined once again by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, as well as Xander Marin, a self-described "regular dude" who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day. They co-host the "Pillow Talks" podcast and co-authored the new book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why does initiating sex feel so hard for people?
• What should you do (and what should you avoid) when it comes to sexual initiation?
• What are the six different sexual initiation styles?
• How can individuals navigate sex when they have different initiation styles?
• How do you say "no" to a partner's initiation attempt without hurting their feelings?
• What are some things you can do to encourage your partner to initiate sex more?

Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander's website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks! Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. Put a "ring" on it with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  ***

When it comes to navigating romantic relationships, the struggle is real. So why are relationships so hard? And is it possible to make things a little easier? Let's talk about it! Today's episode is all about "love signals," or the signs you should be paying attention to. Specifically, we're going to discuss relationship red flags and green flags, how to avoid moving too fast or too slow, how to know when someone is genuinely interested in you, and how to avoid sabotaging your own chances at love and happiness. I am joined once again by Dr. Morgan Anderson, who is a clinical psychologist, author of the new book Love Magnet, and host of the podcast Let’s Get Vulnerable. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• Why do we often struggle with romantic relationships more than other types of relationship in life?
• How do you find the middle ground between moving "too fast" and "too slow" when you're dating someone new?
• What are some relationship red, green, and yellow flags to pay attention to?
• How can you tell if someone is just being friendly or if they're flirting?
• How can you drop the big expectations while also still upholding your standards?
• Why is it important to approach dating with curiosity?

Make sure to check out Morgan's website, follow her on Instagram, and subscribe to her YouTube channel to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2308-lehmiller  If you love the science of sex, consider becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. The Kinsey Institute is the world's premiere  research organization on sex and relationships, and you can help continue the legacy of Alfred Kinsey by visiting kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation that helps support ongoing research projects that make an impact in the world of sex research. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.  ***

So much sex advice can be boiled down to just one thing: communication. But how exactly should you communicate about sex? And what are the things you need to communicate about? In this episode, we're going to discuss the five "sex talks" that partners in every relationship should have. We’ll explore how to get started, tips for navigating each of these conversations, as well as what to do when a conversation about sex turns into a fight. For today’s show, I am joined by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, as well as Xander Marin, a self-described "regular dude" who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day. They co-host the "Pillow Talks" podcast and co-authored the new book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• How to start acknowledging sex in conversation.
• How partners can successfully communicate about sex and build connection with one another.
• How someone can identify their own sexual desires and share those with a partner.
• How individuals can practice talking about pleasure so that they're more confident when expressing their desires.
• Why asking a partner "what's your fantasy?" might be the wrong place to start when trying to explore new things in the bedroom.

Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander's website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks! Thank you to our sponsors! Put a "ring" on it with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***

There’s a pretty big gap between fantasy and reality. In my own research, I've found that about 80% of adults say they have a fantasy they'd like to act out at some point, but just about 20% have ever done so before. I've also found that only about half of adults say they’ve ever even shared this fantasy with a partner. So how can we get more comfortable talking about our fantasies and incorporating them into our sex lives? In this episode, we're going to discuss what you need to know! I am joined once again by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them using science-based assessments of their unique personality. In our last conversation, Dr. Zhana and I discussed a report released by Ashley Madison called Unbound Love: Sex, Fantasy, and Desire that offers some insight into what people today fantasize about. Be sure to check out that episode as well! Some of the topics we discuss today include:

• How can we unburden ourselves of sexual shame when it's standing in the way of our fantasies?
• How do you communicate about sexual fantasies with a partner in a healthy way?
• How do you deal with situations where you and your partner have totally different fantasies?
• What kinds of things do you need to think about and consider before acting on a fantasy?
• What should you do if acting on a fantasy doesn't work out the way you thought it would?

Make sure to check out Zhana's website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @DrZhana to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Give the gift of year-round pleasure with Beducated! Their library of online courses will teach you what you need to know. Treat yourself or a loved one to a subscription and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name - LEHMILLER - as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2307-lehmiller

A lot of us have had the experience of dating the "wrong" person over and over again. It's just one unhealthy relationship after another. So why is it so common for people to find themselves in these repetitive relationship cycles? It's often the result of our attachment style. In this episode, we're going to dive into attachment theory to help you better understand the four main attachment styles, how to identify your own and that of the people you’re dating, as well as how to move in the direction of more secure attachment to break a cycle of unfulfilling relationships. For today’s show, I am joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson, who is a clinical psychologist, author of the new book Love Magnet, and host of the podcast Let’s Get Vulnerable. Some of the topics we discuss include:

• What do each of the four attachment styles look like in dating?
• How do you know which attachment style you have? Is it possible to have more than one?
• How might someone work on cultivating a more secure attachment style?
• How can you tell what someone else's attachment style is?
• Can relationships work between people who have different attachment styles?

Discover your own attachment style with Dr. Morgan's quiz here! Make sure to check out Morgan's website, follow her on Instagram, and subscribe to her YouTube channel to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! Put a ring on it for Valentine's Day with FirmTech's Performance Ring, which is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. ***